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2009-06-05
Waitress at the Duck: Would you guys like anything else?
Jones: I’d like some hot ass!
Waitress: We serve that here? All I see is old sausage!
2009-06-05
Sheldon: I didn't realize these would be so huge. I thought I ordered potato skins?
Jones: What the hell are those? Ostrich testicles???
Mike G: ...and if you take 2 away, you'd have four skins!!!
2009-04-09
Derek J: To waitress "Hey, where’s my free keychain?"
Waitress: Oh sorry, we don’t have any more.
Derek J: That’s okay. I was only going to give it to my father who’s dying of cancer...
Waitress: Oh for Christ sake....
2009-04-09
Steve: To Vickie "Hey why didn’t you wave when I passed you downtown today?"
Vickie: I didn’t see you, I swear.
Mike G: He was the guy driving by waving a picture of his cock at you!
2009-03-26
Mike B: I’d fuck Cinderella.
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