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EDI Laffs, Gaffs and Blunders: GAH!
Posted: 2007-03-21 by MikeB

Edition V3.3: Turn the cheek...

Somebody is suffering from a case of the stupids.....

dumb.broad said at 10:21AM: Has the corrected map been moved into production yet?
MikeB said at 10:22 AM: I rarely move a map into production PRIOR to starting on it, im waiting for YOU to give the specs
dumb.broad said at 10:22 AM: *fwap* *thunk*

dumb.broad said at 01:42 PM: Do you think we are going to meet our time schedule for the company name change?
MikeB said at 01:46 AM: Are you talking about the schedule that you were to create and publish?
dumb.broad said at 01:47 PM: *bzzt* *crackle*

dumb.broad said at 09:10 AM: Can you confirm that PO XYZ made it to SAP?
MikeB said at 09:11 AM: After an arduous search within the bowels of the database architecture, and with great persistence and perseverance, I can deliver, from my death bed, this message, yes, the order is in SAP, it was intangibly hiding atop the pinnacle of the staggering 11 count of orders received that day, thus making it difficult for you and your esteemed colleagues to ascertain with any great certainty, it's current location.
dumb.broad said at 09:12 AM: *gnaw* *hork* *ptoo*


Is it saturday yet....




BHON Celebrity Report!
Posted: 2007-03-19 by Mike Hunt

 Volume 1.0

 

Anna Nicole Smith ....I'm still not really sure what your purpose on this planet was? You really had no discernable talent? Why is it then that you are STILL in the news?

I mean, every fucking night for the last month I flip through my TV, and it's Anna Nicole this and Anna Nicole that. All those goddamn infotainment shows just can't seem to let it go. Let's face it...you were a talentless cokeheaded bimbo who OD'd and died in a puddle of your own vomit. And THIS is headline news?

Oh well....at least you had some big jugs...

Britney spears has recently returned to the gossip headlines with her dramatic new shaved look. Guess she wanted to be recognizable regardless of which end of her the paparazzi chose to photograph?

I guess America has finally come to realize you have no musical talent, and your core audience of pubescent teenage boys no longer find you spank-worthy now that you are a chubby, white-trash, single mom. Looks like somebody is crying for attention. If I want to see white-trash, single mom's, I can always go down to the nudie bar. Take a cue from Anna Nicole and disappear into obscurity where you and your career belong. Please fuck off...

 

Paris Hilton....Here's another gangly bitch I am sick of seeing spashed all over the checkout isles at the local A&P. What exactly is YOUR contribution to society Ms. Hilton? I guess sucking cock earns you front page status in the tabloids too!  The only thing anyone really want to see you splashed with is a big sticky load.

Please fuck off....




No...I don’t need a bigger Penis!!!
Posted: 2007-03-10 by Mike G





Medieval Pbbbbt! - Beer Wenches!
Posted: 2007-03-10 by Mike G




Proof of Tech Support Gods
Posted: 2007-03-01 by Steve J

In our on going effort to support the paranormal, we present two episodes of Tech Support. Each will prove that there are Gods of Tech support and they are sick bastards. Names have been changed to protect the stupid!

Case 1: Tech support guy M goes out on a call to upgrade as server. M starts at 10:00. M is immediately saddled with retard who sits with M asking pointless questions, makes stupid remarks and is generally unhelpful. Upgrading of server goes fine until last bit of data is copied and then server promptly blows up. Blue screens, moaning and lack of booting - the usual crap that is our worst nightmare. M starts from scratch and does this over and over again, fixing error after error. Finally, M get the server up and running and working like is suppose to. Time is now 20:00 and M is in desperate need of a beer. The fickle God Xchng strikes again.

Case 2: Tech support guys M and S go out to deliver a server. Server install goes smoothly (maybe too smoothly). They get various machines connected and up and running. They make certain tests to find that the gremlin of sameip is lurking around. They finally track that down and kill it. Everything seems to be going great. The person in charge of the server takes a deep breath and is about to launch into 1,000,000 stupid questions routine. M and S look at each other and cringe. Then, the God of Nopower strikes, plunging them into darkness. M and S look at eachother, then look at the person in charge, shrug their shoulder and respond "Looks like our work here is done!", race upstairs, grab coats and boots and are out the door before Nopower can leave.

Some times the Gods can be kind.

Case 1 (Revisited): Tech support guy M gets panic call from client. Server has gone down again. Tech guy M goes out and sure enough server is not doing what it is suppose to. M shuts down the server and drops the original server back in place. Everything is going fine. M takes the new server back to the shop to beat the shit out of it. Couple of days go by and M gets another panic call. Old server has gone down and no mail can flow. M goes out and can’t get the server running. Several tense search through the web and M finds the problem. MS put a limit on the size of the mailboxes and it was very small. Guess what, 100+ users and 16 Gig of storage, you do the math. Thanks again O God Xchng you bastard!


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