Why do people have an innate need to fuck with things they have no knowledge or understanding of? Perhaps it is just human curiousity, or just the need to make more work for the IT guy who is already overburdened in dealing with their day to day stupidity. But what really frosts my nuts is when you've spent a considerable amount of time setting up something as important as a new server, only to have Freddy Fatfingers who thinks he knows a few things about computers, craftily undo all your hard work.

Dumbass One:  We seem to be having problems with the server, all the users are getting error messages that there is insufficient disk space when they save stuff to the server. Please help us!!! We can't get any work done!

Resolution: Log into the server....notice error messages in event log about disk quotas being exceeded. Fuck...I didn't enable disk quotas?!?!? Who did?!?!? You have 1.5TB of disk space for fuck sake?!?!?

Dumbass One: Oh yeah....we were playing around with that setting the other day! Silly us....FUCKTARDS!!!

Fucktard Two: We're having network problems...can ping the server by IP but not by name. I think there is a problem with DNS? Can you fix it?

Resolution: Log into server, lots of strange errors about DNS bound to invalid IPv6 address yadda yadda......Wait a sec? IPv6? WTF? Look at network settings.....IPv6, NWLink/NetBIOS, IPX/SPX? Double WTF?!?!? Who's been fucking around with this???

Fucktard Two: Oh yeah....I was trying to install some program and it said something about Novell or something and said I needed IPX installed or something I'm not sure really and I went to add/remove windows components and didn't know what to pick so I just installed ALL the protocols? .....Uhm.....think that has something to do with it? ....ARGGGHHH FUCK KILLL!!!!.....

Asshat Three: Help! Half the PC's on our network can't get on the network...XP says limited or no connectivity?

Resolution: Call them in and get them to run ipconfig....Voila....they're not getting an IP address....WTF? Remote into the server and check DHCP server? What's this? All IP addresses in the address pool are assigned? Double WTF?!?! Let's check the leases....RAS/PPTP WTF???

Asshat Three: Oh yeah....we were trying to set it up so people could VPN into the server from home and it asked how many ports to assign so I just used the default of 254? But I couldn't get it to work anyways....do you know why? I think it has something to do with the IP addresses, so I just went to Future Shop and bought some more routers thinking that would give me more IP addresses for my network?  

*sigh*

Is it friday yet?

Edition V3.5: All gone, all of it :( ....

Well, isn't this nice, fire up the old employer supplied laptop, and hello, what's this? OH!, I'm a new user am i? Fantastic. First day on the job as far as XP is concerned, it is. Marvelous. Says some stupid message about can't find profile, well it's right where you left it a-hole! Let's try to connect in and see if I can avoid a 280 KM trip and having it reimaged. Good times, not a single file or stored ID are there. Peachey. No proxy settings to be found anywhere. Slick. Well, I somehow remember enough settings, copy some files from backup that I had luckily setup for just such an MS-Emergency, and am limping along. Well, I'm half-assing as best as I can, but it is going to be a crappy day going like this.

Here's a crazy idea, let's reboot this 1/2 dead machine to see WTF happens next!

*drumroll* .......

Good as new! Thank you Microsoft, for providing us with the latest RCL! (random catastrophic login)

Repeat after me...

I love my job.....I love my job....I love my job.... a .357 leaves a bigger hole than a 9mm....I love my job...

Oh, YOU are back again. I have to wonder if YOU have any other calling in life other than to annoy the hell out of ME.

Shall we take it from the top. Why are YOU calling today? Oh, the problem I fixed last week has popped up again. YOU can't get on the internet any more? It happened right after YOU went to that website that so severly infected YOUR machine last time that I almost had to reformat YOUR machine to get rid of it. The only reason I didn't was because YOU whined sooo much about not losing all those valuable MP3's of shitty songs and JPG's of some other woman's vagina that I went above and beyond the call to save them. Did YOU do the backup like I asked you to? No, good. I really enjoy a challange. Oh, YOU still want me to save all those "valuable" files. OK, not a problem. Oh, you need it back this afternoon, riiiight. I'll get right on that.

tic..tic...tic...

 Hi, it's ME again. Sorry to inform you that your hard drive has crashed and everything is gone (not really, I just can't be bothered to go through all this again). Nope, I could not get anything off the drive before it died (other than all your porn and some of the better MP3's that you downloaded)(What on earth possessed you to download Insync anyway). It started up, put up the background screen of YOU in that "interesting" outfit (and I am trying to be kind here) and then I got the lovely BSOD (right after I repeatedly pulled the power cable out and pushed it back in again several times in a row as it was booting). In layman's terms, it went to the great hard drive roundup in the sky. No, I can't get any info off it (because currently the insides are decorating the walls of my office (boy these magnets are strong)).  I am sorry that all your info is gone and no, there is nothing we can do about that now. No need to cry, for a small fee we can put a new drive in your machine and get you back up and running again. All I need is for you to bring in the CD's of your original software for me to reload. What, you have no idea where they are? (Surprise!) What about the sticker of authenticity for your copy of XP. Hmmm, don't know where that is either (usualy found on the outside of your machine, I wonder where it wandered off too). Ah, no, I can't "just" put on a copy of XP for you. XP sells for $599 (not really, but maybe you'll stop bugging me). Yes, I know that you can get a new machine from Futureshop for that price (and maybe you'll stop bugging me). I'm sorry but we are not a huge box retailer who gets great deals (and maybe you'll stop bugging me). I can talk to MY boss about getting YOU a better price on XP (and you really don't get the idea about not bugging me, do you!) 

Thank you for you call and once again, I am really sorry that you lost everything (which of course some of the more interesting things will find their way to my friends blog and Youtube account). Please call again (like when Hell freezes over). Click!

May 24, 2007 - Admittedly when Mike B suggested Niagara On the Lake
for a BHON pub crawl, we all thought he was crazy. There couldn't
be any decent or cheap wings to be had in Ye Olde town of Niagara?
Or could there? Quel suprise!

First stop - The Irish Harp Pub! Guinness a flowin' and first batch
of wings starts out with a quality presentation.

Fuck...these are really good! FUCK...THESE ARE REALLY HOT!!!!!
More Guinness please!!!!

Next stop - Angel Inn...What is Chris doing in this photo?

Despite the quality beers on tap and decent wings, is was agreed that the
atmosphere at the Angel was the best feature thus far...

And now a little pitstop before hitting the next bar for the evening....

And onward we trek to the next and final spot of the night....

Derek shows off the patented Butler's FrankenWing(tm)....

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