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Thanks Steve!
Posted: 2007-08-31 by Dr D

The purchases from the "Vending Machine" worked like a charm!




A Fucktool and His Data are Soon Parted...
Posted: 2007-08-30 by Mike G

A client recently suffered a hard drive failure in their primary NAS device. Fortunately for them, I had the foresight to setup a secondary NAS with an identical configuration, along with a nightly rsync script to replicate their data in case of such a situation. As a second level of redundancy, I wrote an additional script that replicated the data to an external 500GB USB drive for offsite storage. You'd think this would have covered all the bases?

Fucktool: Our network drive is down, and nobody can access their files.

Me: VPN in and check shit out...yup dead drive. Clickity click, flip over to backup NAS, change IP address....there you go, you should be able to access now.

Fucktool: Great just let me check.... Hmmm....we seem to be missing some files here??? This data is from June?!?!? OMG!! WTF?!?

Me: WTF? The NAS drives are supposed to be sync'ed every night? At most you should only be missing the changes from the past 12 hrs? I can check the external USB drive?

Fucktool: Can you restore them for us?

Me: Sure...I'll just VNC into the machine that runs the backup scripts and... [Connection Timed out] WTF?!?! Ping the backup machine.... Request timed out.  Uhm, is the backup server on?

Fucktool: Oh...I'll have to go turn the server on for you.

Me: Why is it off in the first place? Did you guys have a power failue or something?

Fucktool: No No.....that machine keeps beeping all the time, so we just turn it off?

Me: You what?!? How long has it been doing that?

Fucktool: Since May or June? I dunno...it was annoying so we just unplugged it.  

Clickity click....sure enough, backup files on both drives current as of June. You fucking retards!!!

Fucktool: Did you find our files yet?

Me: Yeah...sure. Go jump in front of a bus and maybe you'll see your files again in the netherworld!!!

ASS....




Tips for a Sucessful School Year
Posted: 2007-08-20 by Mike G




EDI Laffs, Gaffs and Blunders: n00b
Posted: 2007-08-20 by MikeB

Edition V3.7: n00b question ....

Customer Jihad: Pleasing to sending 997 acknowledgements with the quickness!

n00b: Hey Miike I don't see how the 997s are sent, but it shouldn't be too hard to setup something in SAP.

Me: Eh... that shit's sent automatically, withing 10 minutes of receipt.

n00b: Well we could use the existing process to send the status from SAP, develop an application that processes inbound.....

Me: Well seeing as how this is likely a form letter you received from Captain Goat Jockey, I wouldn't worry about it..

n00b: What I don't get is where the 52610 is from lol!

Me: That's how much they are over paying you by, and everybody is laughing.

n00b: *GULP* !!!

Me: Oy gevalt....




Observations from the flip side
Posted: 2007-08-01 by The Wandering Techie

AAHH, Summer. A time when a young techie's fancy turns to vacations. Not mine, mind you. Other people.

It's especially nice when retards take vacation. Then their problems become other people's problems, not mine. But every now and then, the retard can be resourceful. And they assume that I care. Take for example the retard who just called:

Retard: I can't send any mail right now. I have to reply to this one email but all I get are errors

Me: OK. Start with the basics. Can you get surf the web.

Retard: Yup.

Me: Can you get mail?

Retard: Yup.

Me: But your mail is still in the outbox right?

Retard: Yup.

Me: Open up the tools menu, click on Accounts and read me what's in the SMTP area

Retard reads from all of the fields, not just the one I asked him to. Everything is setup the way it should be. 

Then you hear it in the background. "Cannonball!!!" Splash! Yahoo!!!

Me: Where are you right now?

Retard: Sitting by the pool at my hotel.

Me: Oh, really? Where's the hotel?

Retard: Mexico.

Me: Did you think to check with the hotel about any changes to your settings when you try to use the internet there?

Retard: Oh ya. They said something about setting your outbound mail server to this ip address and you might have to change some of the information elsewhere, but why would I do that? I mean, I'll only have to change it when I get home anyway? It really isn't that important, is it?

Me : Have a nice vacation. Try emailing from those big floating doughnuts in the center of the pool, I think it will work better from there. 




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