SCENARIO: Jack starts a fight with John at school.

THEN: A large group of boys form around the two, they beat the shit out of each other, they shake hands and the next day they are best mates.
NOW: The police are called. They arrest John and Jack. All cellular phones with videos of the fight are confiscated as evidence. Both are charged with assault. Both are suspended, even though Jack started the fight. The parents are summoned for consultation and the other children who saw the fight get trauma counselling. The video of the fight is available on YouTube.

SCENARIO: Jack disrupts the class because he cannot sit down and shut up.

THEN: Jack gets his ass smacked. He can still not sit down because his arse got a spanking, but he shuts up, finishes school and becomes a successful businessman.
NOW: Jack is is tested for ADD then put on Ritalin because he is hyperactive. He becomes a zombie. Jack cannot cope and leaves school in the 8th grade.

SCENARIO: Jack throws a stone and breaks a neighbour’s window.

THEN: Jack gets a spanking. He has to work in the neighbour’s garden for a week and get a job to pay for the window.
NOW: Jack gets a spanking. His father is arrested for child abuse. Jack is placed in foster-care. The psychiatrist convinces Jack’s sister that her father sexually abused her and their father goes to jail. Jack’s parents get divorced because the psychiatrist fucks Jack’s mother.

SCENARIO: Jack fails English at school.

THEN: He attends extra English classes, passes school and graduates from university.
NOW: The teacher is blamed for the failure. A local human right’s group takes up his case. They determine that compulsory English at school is blatant racism. It becomes a major political issue. A case is made against the school and the Department of Education. English is removed from the curriculum. Jack’s passes school very well, but mows lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

SCENARIO: Jack takes a firecracker and blows up an anthill.

THEN: The anthill is fucked. Thousands of ants are killed.
NOW: The animal protection groups are called in. Jack is arrested and charged with urban terrorism and cruelty to animals. His parents are placed under surveillance. Jack’s younger brothers and sisters are taken away from home. Their computers are confiscated. Jack’s father is placed on a list of terrorists. He is fired and cannot get another job. The family starves.

SCENARIO: Jack falls and scuffs his knee during break. His teacher dries his tears, cleans the knee and gives him a hug.

THEN: Jack soon feels better and by second break he is running around again.
NOW: Jack’s teacher is accused of being a pedophile. She loses her job. She receives a suspended sentence. Jack receives therapy for five years and becomes a faggot.

After many years of hearing Steve's BANG story over and over, Mike decided it was time to try and come up with one of his own. Instead of a Chevette however, Mike stepped things up a notch and sucessfully raised the bar by taking out one of these:

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