29th Anniversary · 1996 - 2025
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Back to IndexThe Best Fucking TV Show Ever... Posted: 2008-05-20 by Mike G
With all the crap on TV these days, I thought this clip would bring Fook Me? Posted: 2008-05-16 by Mike G 
Email recieved by Computer Services. Posted: 2008-05-07 by Doc Letter received today by Mr. BEEF*BELCH* (Included commentary in Italics):
Hi,
From the Internet: - Internet Options (When starting Internet Explorer, you go to Tools>>Internet Options. This allows you to change the home page, add toolbars etc. I would really like it if this could be accessible because I don't want Yahoolagins as my home page, I want it as Google. I also want to add toolbars such as Yahoo toolbar or Google toolbar.)[uhhh lemme think....NO! Too many dumb asses start installing yahoo toolbar and google toolbar and what ever other fucking tool they want and shit slows down. As far as the default web page. SUCK IT UP! you only look at it for 5 seconds anyways. Mind you yahoolagins does take a bitch of time to load due to all the flash crap on so I'll conceed 1 point to you] - Downloading restrictions (Sometimes you need Adobe Flash Player or Shockwave to watch movies, or look at pictures. When I go to update it, I get a message saying that I need administrative rights to access this. It's very inconvenient, because I need to look at pictures and download them. Or, there might be a program I need to complete an assignment but must be downloaded.)[Boy are you sure you're not special needs??? cause when you're using a computer at work last I checked you were supposed to be, I dunno, doing FUCKING WORK NOT WATCHING MOVIES!!!! Just goes to prove that the problem is what people are using the computers for not the network... I wonder what the principal of the school would think if I let them know you're watching movies instead of school work??? And what kind of program can be "downloaded" that you would need to complete any assignment in fucking elementary school??? Sorry shit for brain but you ain't downloading shit!] Other: - Drive D:/ (This drive is the disk drive. I am extremely annoyed with this. If I need to play a DVD or a CD, I can't because nothing happens. It doesn't even read it. Or there might be a program that needs to be installed from a CD, but doesn't work. This leads me to my next problem.) [Again, you don't need to install sweet fuck all so quit your bitching. Little douchebag]- Installation of programs (If I need a program from home on the computer, I can't install it. I needed an advanced video editor one time for a project, but couldn't get it because of the restrcitions.)[Holy fuck, already!!!! What would you be doing editing a fucking video in grade 8 for??? Cyberquest maybe but they've got the Mac's for that. And besides if you're doing video editing on a PC, you're already fucked! BTW have you got a legal license for this "advanced video editor"?] - Control Panel (This allows you to change the background, change the size of buttons and colours of buttons, and many more. It would be nice to have our own background instead of a blue background with chairs in the corner.)[All I'm hearing is "wah, wah wah" want a little cheeze with the whine? ] - Start Menu options (The Start Menu is the little Start button on the bottom left hand corner. First of all, it would be nice to have the All Programs option. When you click on this, a whole list of programs installed on your computer pops up. This makes program access a lot more easier. Control Panel, Run, Search, and Help and Support would also be a lot more welcoming in the menu.)[OK so now you want all the options that'll let you use an alternate method to find and execute the shit you're not supposed to be running? Keep dreaming.] I also have a list of programs that would be nice to have installed on the computer:
- iTunes
[So what, you can update your iPod at school? don't think so... thankfully this is the one thing that is blocked properly from getting out of the network]
Daddy's little sperm recepticle[Name changed to protect the "cough cough" innocent] Learn Chinese in 5 minutes Posted: 2008-05-06 by Mike G English - Chinese Translation
That's not right! - Sum Ting Wong More fun with Cars Posted: 2008-04-24 by Steve J It's been a fun year so far (NOT). The joy of all the little things that life throws at you. The things that make you go "Damn, I need a drink and I need it NOW!" It's that time of year again. The time when the government extracts its extra pound of flesh for the privilege of spending an obscene amount of money for me to get from point A to point B. That's right, it's my birthday and the sticker is due on my car. And to add insult to injury, it's etest time. The time when the government grabs that little extra cash from you to say your car is not a hazard to the enviroment (this time, but you better watch out!) So, off I go. I'm going to get my etest. The car has been behaving after it's second round of open heart surgery and various other little things. With confidence, I pull into the parking lot of the major chain store that has garages and gives you funny coloured paper after you buy stuff. Walk up to the service desk, tell them to give me an etest and hand over the keys. I am told it will be about half an hour, what am I going to do. I tell them I am just going to walk around the store and wait. So off I go. No hardship, I'm in one of my favorite stores. I will just walk around and dream of the day that I can actually buy the 75 blade table saw/planner/router/drill/fellatio machine. Next thing you know, my daydream is shattered by my name ringing across the store pager. Back to the service desk that I go. Back at the service desk, they tell me they can't test the car because it is leaking. Leaking? Leaking what? Out we go into the service area. There's my car, sitting in front of the etest machine with a giant puddle of antifreeze on the ground, like a little puppy that had the piss scared out of it by a bigger, badder dog. Wrench boy is sitting beside her, shaking his head. "Lookin like ya gots a cracked rad" he drawls, "or maybez a blown hose." I just stare at him. We pop the hood and peer in. Don't see any leaks. The service manager suggests that we get the car up on the hoist to take a better look. Wrench boy gets in the car and backs it up to the hoist. "Yup" he drawls, "pretty sure ya gotta busted rad." Survival mode kicks in. Not a chance, no way. No busted anything. If something like that was busted, the car would still be pissing fluid everywhere. Maybe the overflow cap has finally gone. Been a pain in the ass for a while. Wrench boy get the car back at the hoist and gets out to lift the car up. Just then I notice fluid leaking past the overflow tank. "There!" I yell at Wrench boy. He comes over and sees the fluid dripping from the overflow cap. "Well, I'll be. Guess ya was right." Damn skippy. Get a new cap and lets go. A couple of minutes later (and a new cap), Wrench boy revs the car and we watch for leaks. Nothing. Great, let's get this party started. Wrench boy pulls the car up the the etest machine again. I watch the cap like a hawk. Nothing, great. Then a little bell goes off inside my head. I glance over at the temp guage in the car. Over the half way point and climbing! "Hey, Wrench boy! Don't you think we should add some antifreeze?" "Nope, she's got plenty." Meanwhile, he's wading through a sea of antifreeze at his feet. "Cars running really hot right now, hotter than normal. "I think we should do something." I suggest. Deer in headlights look from Wrench boy. Then a little spark flickers behind the eyes. Wrench boy drags out a hurricane fan, plugs her in and parks it right in front of the car. Flips as switch and I am grabbing onto supports to keep front getting blown away. "There ya go, no problems" he grins. On to the etest. Wrench boy punches a button and the screen flashes "Gas Cap Test". Bing, it passes. Wait, aren't you suppose to use my gas cap for the test? Wrench boy just grins. Next he walks around to the back of the car and leans the probe up against the tail pipe opening. I could have sworn I heard the car sigh with relief as there was no lube in sight. Wrench boy tells me he hates telling people that their cars don't pass the test. He's going to try and make sure that doesn't happen to me. Next thing you know, Wrench boy punches another button and hops in the car. The dyno sighs, the car revs and the test is on. Watching the screen, Wrench boy keeps the cursor inside the lines, getting the car up to 40Km/h. A few minutes later and "Bing" test is done. Wrench boy looks up and says "Yup, she passed". My turn for the deer in the headlights look. Wrench boy explains that the time it took to run the test means the emissions was so short, it had to pass. It was like looking at Gomer Pyle and hearing him explain the theory of relativity. Great. Just give me the sheets. Look over at the printer and shit, paper jam. Wrench boy tugs here, pushes there. Just open the damn printer and pull out the stuck sheet. Finally he figures it out and we get the printout. Grab that, rush to the service counter, pay for the tests and off I go. Down to the ministry and pay for my sticker. Over and done for another year. This year has got to get better...... 
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