Back to Index


Rick Retires! A BHON Exclusive!
Posted: 2003-03-31 by Mike B

In a stunning announcement earlier this month, none other than Rick Hatrick turned in his resignation and applied for retirement from the NCDSB.

Souces within the board were shocked and dismayed as they scrambled to contain the highly volatile situation.

Meanwhile, a public outcry of protest over the situation reached epidemic levels this weekend with public demonstrations held in major cities around the world.

Full Story



BHON Sars Prevention Information
Posted: 2003-03-24 by Mike G

With the daily reports of SARS - Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome - gripping the GTA, BHON has decided to take a proactive approach to help provide its members with the necessary information to protect themselves from this highly publicized disease.

Effective immediately, protective gowns and masks are encouranged for all members of BHON when attending meetings. A BHON spokesperson, who refused to be identified, provided the following statement. "How the hell do you drink beer with a surgical mask on? This is fucking stupid!".

BHON also has the following tips to help keep yourself SARS free: (Of course we base this information on absolutely nothing...)

  • Alcohol kills germs...drink plenty of it to help prevent yourself from contracting SARS.
  • SARS is a respiratory disease. Spending time in a smoke filled environment should make your respiratory system less attractive to viral infection. Also, viruses hate the smell of smoke on their clothes the next morning.
  • Don't go to health care facilities...actually, the waiting time in the emergency will probably kill you before SARS ever will.
  • If you start hacking up black death or otherwise showing symptoms...stay the fuck home!
  • Even if you are not showing symptoms, stay the fuck home! The less paranoid morons out, the better!
  • In fact...lets all stay the fuck home! BHON recommendes a 10-day vacation...err...quarantine for all!



    Suggested attire for future BHON meetings - File Photo



    • 1st Annual Golden Cock Awards
    Posted: 2003-02-01 by Mike G

    LINK


    Japanese Beaver Art
    Posted: 2003-01-23 by Mike G

    Growing numbers of Japanese women are said to be modelling their pubic hair on David Beckham haircuts. According to the the Mainichi Daily News the trend is most popular among office workers.

    Apparently there are three basic cuts.

    'Soft Beckhams' are those where the hair is allowed to grow freely but it curls back to form a natural peak.

    'Popular Beckhams' involve brushing the hair into a Mohican, while 'Hardcore Beckhams' require the wearer to dye the top of the Mohican an eye-catching colour.

    The paper cites an office worker named Yuri as saying the trend is taking off because it has opened up a new arena of rivalry.

    She said: "Pubic hairstyling can make the difference for a girl when she's competing with another girl whose looks are about the same as hers."


    Editor: I'm buying a plane ticket the day the Curly Howard style becomes popular!


    EDI Laffs, Gaffs and Blunders
    Posted: 2002-12-01 by Mike B

    Edition V2.1: A New Beginning again.

    Ok, I'm doing a little work with a poultry processing company in an unmamed city with a canal running through it. Uhhh,





    Back to Index