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Eat a Dick? What’s on the Lunch Menu?
Posted: 2006-03-11 by Mike G

Mar. 11, 2006. 01:00 AM

As this week's Food section on charcuterie reported, sausages, cornichons and baguettes — phallic symbols all — are now de rigueur on fashionable Toronto tables. But truly trendy foodies need not settle for mere symbols when the real thing is available a mere 13-hour plane trip away.

Yes, amidst a peaceful courtyard in Beijing, the Guo Lizhuang restaurant lets diners please their palates with more than 30 kinds of animal penis served Chinese hotpot style.

For about $45 to $450 (aren't you glad our currency is so strong these days?), gourmands can choose among many kinds of bian hotpots: yaks, donkeys, dogs, oxen and even — shh, don't tell the McCartneys — seals.

Traditional Chinese medicine apparently holds that the penis of certain beasts is chock-a block with nutrients that bring men energy. And because it contains gelatin and albumen — as do marshmallows — it's supposed to have excellent cosmetic effects for women and is particularly good for skin.

Prices at the Guo Lizhuang ("strength in the pot") eatery seem reasonable to us, though we admit to lacking a means of comparison: a donkey penis sets you back $27.25 as does the ragout of ox and dog members. And given its prodigious length, a yak pecker is a steal at $38.75.

Original Article published in The Toronto Star Mar 11, 2006.




BHON Top Cock Award Winner - Mike B
Posted: 2006-03-02 by Mike G

The BHON Top Cock Award - A feature section with an award given to any individual who goes out of their way to enhance and enlighten any BHON evening by being present and doing something extraordinary for the BHON experience!

This month's BHON Top Cock award goes to Mike Bilodeau for generously picking up the first (and largest) bar tab at Patrick Sheehan's during the recent BHON pub crawl of 2006.

Do you wanna be a Cock Supporter? Think you got what it takes? The honour is open to anyone, member or not. Just show up and do something memorable for the BHON community and we'll be glad to acknowledge you by putting your name in infamy on our site!




First BHON Pub Crawl of 2006
Posted: 2006-03-02 by Mike G

Okay...here is the tentative plan for BHON - Thursday, March 2nd. This is being posted far in advance so that everyone can schedule their evening accordingly. I can only assume that the lackluster response to the last couple BHON nights was due to short-notice planning....or just that you were all too busy watching Brokeback Mountain preparing for the Oscars, while celebrating your collective repressed homosexuality. Come on....admit it to yourselves....you're living in denial.

Now...if you want to redeem yourself in the eyes of the BHON Gods and not be looked upon as a flaming butt-pirate, you are encouraged to attend. Otherwise you are welcome to stay home and continue living a charade, wishing you were a sheep farmer in Wyoming.


BHON Pub Crawl - 2006

ROUND ONE:
- Begins at 7:00-7:30
- Park at Market Square (this gives you a destination to work back to)
- Walk to Patrick Sheehans (come on...its only like 2 blocks)
- Have a round or two of Guinness.
- We will skip wings here since they are ASStacular.

ROUND TWO:
- Merchant Ale House (across the street from Sheehans)
- Have a round of beer + wings as I recall they were good.
- Short intermission for digestion.

ROUND THREE:
- Kaz's Bar and Grill (half a block up St. Paul towards James)
- Have a round of beers here
- Skip wings....they were Craptastic

ROUND FOUR:
- Walk two blocks to Honest Lawyer on James St.
- Have a final round of beer
- Maybe more wings if everyone is hungry from the walk.

ROUND FIVE:
- TBA - Otherwise your car is in Market Square just across the street (how convenient eh?)

DISCLAIMER: Neither the Academy nor the BHON Administration make any endorsements of the aforementioned film Brokeback Mountain, nor encourage the exploration of homosexuality (unless it's two chicks - and I don't mean like Charlize Theron in "Monster" chicks....more like Jessica Simpson in "Dukes of Hazzard" or Jessica Alba type chicks). Anything else would just be GAY.

Peace out...




BHON Children’s Book Fair
Posted: 2006-02-04 by Mike G

 


Everyone Loves Spongebob!



Pop-Up What?!?!



Munch What?!?!



Helpful Parenting Advice



Spiderman III The Fisting!!!



Advice for Adolescents



Bedtime Stories by Larry!!!




BHON Federal Election 2006 Coverage!
Posted: 2006-01-12 by Mike G

The upcoming federal election represents an important event in defining the future of Canada. As a continuing public service, BHON presents an executive summary of the three major political parties in order to help the undecided make an informed decision at the polls. Let’s get out and Vote!

Paul Martin - Liberal

Executive Summary of Political Platform: Uhhh...like we’ve been the incumbent government for a long time now, so we know what’s best for you. Nevermind that silly old sponsorship scandal...you really didn’t need that tax money we stole anyhow! Blah Blah Blah....healthcare, education, gun control, blah blah blah. Stephen Harper is a douchebag...remember the Mulroney years? That’s why you shouldn’t vote for him. Stick with the devil you know! Vote Liberal!

 

Stephen Harper - Conservative

Executive Summary of Political Platform: The Liberals are corrupt!!!...Sponsorship Scandal!!!...blah blah blah!!!. Time for a change!!! Healthcare, education, gun control, blah blah blah. Yeah, I know I look like a child molester, but I promise I won’t fuck you in the ass if you elect me! I am NOT a douchebag! I promise!!! Paul Martin is the douchebag so Nyaah Nyaah Nyahh!! Vote Conservative!!

 

Jack Layton - NDP

Executive Summary of Political Platform: I don’t get no respect I tell ya! No respect at all....The NDP are the Rodney Dangerfield of Canadian Politics. Ontarians should remember the Bob Rae era fondly as one of the few times the NDP have held power in a major Canadian province. For the federal campaign, it seems the NDP makes up the strategic swing-vote for the undecided ridings. Oh yeah....Healthcare, education, gun control, blah blah blah.



So there you have it folks. Too bad none of these candidates stand for anything of interest that we can tell. Their campaigns consist of nothing more than empty promises and character bashing with no substance whatsoever. Like the Who song...."Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss." Just make sure "We don’t get fooled again". Perhaps it’s time for a BHON party???




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