The upcoming federal election represents an important event in defining the future of Canada. As a continuing public service, BHON presents an executive summary of the three major political parties in order to help the undecided make an informed decision at the polls. Let’s get out and Vote!

Paul Martin - Liberal Executive Summary of Political Platform: Uhhh...like we’ve been the incumbent government for a long time now, so we know what’s best for you. Nevermind that silly old sponsorship scandal...you really didn’t need that tax money we stole anyhow! Blah Blah Blah....healthcare, education, gun control, blah blah blah. Stephen Harper is a douchebag...remember the Mulroney years? That’s why you shouldn’t vote for him. Stick with the devil you know! Vote Liberal!

Stephen Harper - Conservative Executive Summary of Political Platform: The Liberals are corrupt!!!...Sponsorship Scandal!!!...blah blah blah!!!. Time for a change!!! Healthcare, education, gun control, blah blah blah. Yeah, I know I look like a child molester, but I promise I won’t fuck you in the ass if you elect me! I am NOT a douchebag! I promise!!! Paul Martin is the douchebag so Nyaah Nyaah Nyahh!! Vote Conservative!!

Jack Layton - NDP Executive Summary of Political Platform: I don’t get no respect I tell ya! No respect at all....The NDP are the Rodney Dangerfield of Canadian Politics. Ontarians should remember the Bob Rae era fondly as one of the few times the NDP have held power in a major Canadian province. For the federal campaign, it seems the NDP makes up the strategic swing-vote for the undecided ridings. Oh yeah....Healthcare, education, gun control, blah blah blah.

So there you have it folks. Too bad none of these candidates stand for anything of interest that we can tell. Their campaigns consist of nothing more than empty promises and character bashing with no substance whatsoever. Like the Who song...."Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss." Just make sure "We don’t get fooled again". Perhaps it’s time for a BHON party???