Sonnofabitch!  Ok, "Santa" happens to get a Guitar Hero World Tour set for the lad at Christmas!  Woo fucking Hoo! Cool shit. Only if it all works...... 

There’s a guitar, drums, microphone, suddenly we’re the fucking Jackson 5’s, minus the colour shifting skinny pedo.  And we are white with remarkably little music ability.  Well me anyways.  Coolio,  microphone works.  Drums,  smash boom bah, it’s all good.  Guitar - no sync.  Press all sorts of buttons, many many times, even buttons that don’t make sense, I pressed em all. 

RMA#1

Next logical step is to go through the support web page to see if we are doing something wrong.  Nope.  Ok, talk to tech support, get a link to create a RMA online, no sweat.  Create an RMA, and wait. Waity waity wait.  Keep checking RMA#1 status,  "new" - no tracking number.  I post a question to see what’s up - get some ridiculous advice about the drum set - wtf?  Case closed.  Wait a tic you fucking tree dweller, fuck all is closed!  Shit has been closed!

RMA#2

Ok, time for the big guns, open up an express ticket, with a helpful customer support person.  Holy shit, the HR department must have worked overtime to find someone this fucking stupid.  Many people complain about the support line people in India, I wish.  Fuck me talk about stupid.  After a 15 minute painful episode of spelling out my email address "B as in BOPBALONGBONG........... G as in goop, M as in mango, A as in ape, I as in idiot, L as in lizzard, dot like on your fucking head....."  Ugh.  RMA#2 created, excellant. Make damn sure she hears that it is the guitar that is defective, not the drums, not the wireless USB dongle.

Email arrives today with packing slip and customs shit to print out: "Items to be returned in this RMA: CMP-00024 GH4 Guitar Wireless Dongle PS3 (Qty=1) "

Fuuuuuuckk!!!  Someones going to get my dongle right in the mouth.

RMA#3

Spoke to a very nice fellow named Tarik, who spoke english QUITE nicely, booyah progresss!  New RMA entered, email received stating that I will be receiving an email from the logistics company with a PDF packing slip to FEDEX muh shit.......

No fucking email.......

GAH!

Plot Thickens!  Update #1:

RMA#1

Finally got the email for the packing slip in PDF format - it’s so blurry there’s no fucking way it would get to where it’s supposed to.

RMA#3

Got the Email, and the PDF Packing slip is legible! Just might get that fucking guitar before the kids graduate University.

Screeeeeechhh!!!  Update #2:

Fedex Truck comes sliding to a stop, like they are in a hurry to hand me a working guitar!

Fucking dongle.  Bop Balong Dongle.

Head over to Fedex store to return the RMA#2 dongle that was in no way shape or form shoved up any farm animals ass before shipping it back to Activision, in fact it was never even present when I visited my friends dairy farm over on Kottmier Road.  Also ship the guitar in accordance to RMA#3.  The guitar was in no way shape or form in contact with human scrotum, testicles and or penis prior to packaging either.

Stay tuned.

Survey?!?! Update #3:

"You recently contacted Activision Technical Support about one of our games. We would appreciate it if you could take a few minutes to complete a questionnaire that will help us improve our product. Click here to take this survey."

Just wait until I get the guitar, I’ll fill your fucking survey alright...

Question 11. How would you make the next game better?

"The game itself is fine, the main issue was the frustrating and time consuming RMA process.  The first RMA went nowhere, the inept customer service rep for the second RMA had marginal use of the English language and sent the wrong part, and the third RMA was handled efficiently. Perhaps if all the customer service reps hired were at least third generation upright walkers, the process would have been much smoother.  Maybe if the HR department were to dismiss employees found lounging in treetops during lunch, an even greater customer satisfaction level could be gained."

The final chapter!!!  Update #4:

The guitar arrived!  And it was for the right system!  And it had all the parts!  And it came with batteries!  And Duracell batteries no less!  And it came with a new dongle! And it works!  And I am so uncoordinated that I can’t play it! 

Now I will be able to sleep at night.

Bop Balong Dongle.