AAHH, Summer. A time when a young techie's fancy turns to vacations. Not mine, mind you. Other people.

It's especially nice when retards take vacation. Then their problems become other people's problems, not mine. But every now and then, the retard can be resourceful. And they assume that I care. Take for example the retard who just called:

Retard: I can't send any mail right now. I have to reply to this one email but all I get are errors

Me: OK. Start with the basics. Can you get surf the web.

Retard: Yup.

Me: Can you get mail?

Retard: Yup.

Me: But your mail is still in the outbox right?

Retard: Yup.

Me: Open up the tools menu, click on Accounts and read me what's in the SMTP area

Retard reads from all of the fields, not just the one I asked him to. Everything is setup the way it should be. 

Then you hear it in the background. "Cannonball!!!" Splash! Yahoo!!!

Me: Where are you right now?

Retard: Sitting by the pool at my hotel.

Me: Oh, really? Where's the hotel?

Retard: Mexico.

Me: Did you think to check with the hotel about any changes to your settings when you try to use the internet there?

Retard: Oh ya. They said something about setting your outbound mail server to this ip address and you might have to change some of the information elsewhere, but why would I do that? I mean, I'll only have to change it when I get home anyway? It really isn't that important, is it?

Me : Have a nice vacation. Try emailing from those big floating doughnuts in the center of the pool, I think it will work better from there.