Repeat after me...

I love my job.....I love my job....I love my job.... a .357 leaves a bigger hole than a 9mm....I love my job...

Oh, YOU are back again. I have to wonder if YOU have any other calling in life other than to annoy the hell out of ME.

Shall we take it from the top. Why are YOU calling today? Oh, the problem I fixed last week has popped up again. YOU can't get on the internet any more? It happened right after YOU went to that website that so severly infected YOUR machine last time that I almost had to reformat YOUR machine to get rid of it. The only reason I didn't was because YOU whined sooo much about not losing all those valuable MP3's of shitty songs and JPG's of some other woman's vagina that I went above and beyond the call to save them. Did YOU do the backup like I asked you to? No, good. I really enjoy a challange. Oh, YOU still want me to save all those "valuable" files. OK, not a problem. Oh, you need it back this afternoon, riiiight. I'll get right on that.

tic..tic...tic...

 Hi, it's ME again. Sorry to inform you that your hard drive has crashed and everything is gone (not really, I just can't be bothered to go through all this again). Nope, I could not get anything off the drive before it died (other than all your porn and some of the better MP3's that you downloaded)(What on earth possessed you to download Insync anyway). It started up, put up the background screen of YOU in that "interesting" outfit (and I am trying to be kind here) and then I got the lovely BSOD (right after I repeatedly pulled the power cable out and pushed it back in again several times in a row as it was booting). In layman's terms, it went to the great hard drive roundup in the sky. No, I can't get any info off it (because currently the insides are decorating the walls of my office (boy these magnets are strong)).  I am sorry that all your info is gone and no, there is nothing we can do about that now. No need to cry, for a small fee we can put a new drive in your machine and get you back up and running again. All I need is for you to bring in the CD's of your original software for me to reload. What, you have no idea where they are? (Surprise!) What about the sticker of authenticity for your copy of XP. Hmmm, don't know where that is either (usualy found on the outside of your machine, I wonder where it wandered off too). Ah, no, I can't "just" put on a copy of XP for you. XP sells for $599 (not really, but maybe you'll stop bugging me). Yes, I know that you can get a new machine from Futureshop for that price (and maybe you'll stop bugging me). I'm sorry but we are not a huge box retailer who gets great deals (and maybe you'll stop bugging me). I can talk to MY boss about getting YOU a better price on XP (and you really don't get the idea about not bugging me, do you!) 

Thank you for you call and once again, I am really sorry that you lost everything (which of course some of the more interesting things will find their way to my friends blog and Youtube account). Please call again (like when Hell freezes over). Click!